I'm sure its not day 4. Figured I could atleast try to get the date right, even if everything is falling apart. Im so used to having you here, wanting to call you and share a joke, or say something stupid, or just to hear your voice..Its killing me. Love songs are the most painful....they remind me of you, of how I should have loved you...of how I love you still. The pain is intense, there's no point hiding it anymore. Sadness envelopes me becuse I just lost the only real thing in my life.
Writing is catharsis for me...I bleed through my writing....until I can bleed no more...till the pain rushes up again and the blood flows unabated. Writing is catharsis for me.
I wonder how you're doing...what you're doing....How you're doing? Wondering if I ever cross your mind? If Im still part of your thoughts. Thats among the worst things I gather...not knowiing whether you think of me or if you're as sad or even sadder than I am...I don't know...anything anymore.
My foundation has been struck a blow and I fall hard and fast with no grip on reality. I didnt know how deep your love run till it was taken away from me living me like a tree in the amazon....pulled from the roots....leaving a gaping hole in the ground....I am a gaping hole of nothingness because you were everything in essence and in being.
I want to remain in this state so that I can stay close to the memory of you, if I can not be with you.
I cant be with you...I cant be with you. The reality of this hits me with a bang and shatters me all oer agian...
A broken glass can be fixed...a shattered glass can't...there are too many pieces...too many pieces.
My catharsis brings more pain....instead of the release it usually does...
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