Desert walks...Day Pain

I continue to think about you. Deeper and deeper each day my mind spirals into the depths past depression and I cant stand anymore. This pain that is supposed to get better with time...not happening. Pain is the only thing I can feel, my mouth is parched from lack of your presence...
This pain...I feel a pain so deep that should be felt by the whole world. They say we are part of the world and at some level we all connect subconsciously as humans...then why is it no one feels my pain? This pain that digs deep into the being that is me and rattles me from the core...
When you left, my connection with the world...my connection with everything good...a connection that I felt within and out of time cut...and yet time continues. This is the cruelty of the world...while I lie here in my desert the world isnt afraid to continue...without me...simply because you were my world.
My intricate heart strings cut and the whole picture unravels...
This pain...dulling my train of thought....and yet I continue to bleed...
They say woulds heal. A scab eventually forms preventing it from further infection and stopping the bleeding. I have no such reprieve of pain or bleeding. My heart remains woulded from where your heartstrings were yanked from mine...the gaping hole that ensued remainds...gaping...and the infections of doubt...more pain, more loss...more disease....fuck. This pain is too much. Its too much.
My wound remains open from where your heart strings attached to mine and my blood flows unabated.
One would think that after bleeding throughout this desert...I would have no blood left in me....
It is the mark of the hurt I feel that thoughts of you draw up new blood that continues to flow....and flow...

This pain...is too much. Its simply too much.